Monday 28 May 2012

Living with vulvodynia

Living with vulvodynia is something although hard, is what I want to write about today.
For the last seven years I have suffered with this condition. And when I say suffer, I mean suffered.
So I shall start with the facts

Vulvodynia is a chronic pain syndrome that effects the vulva area and occurs without identifiable cause, or visible pathology.
Pain is the most notable symptom and can be as in my case, burning, stinging and irritation. It can be made worse by sitting, bike riding and sexual activity.
A wide variety of possible causes and treatments are being looked at.
Many sufferers like myself see several doctors before a correct diagnosis is made. Many gynaecologist and family doctors are not familiar with this conditions. Many because of the absence of symptoms means that before being diagnosed, are told its "in their heads".

Like many who have a pain disorder, those afflicted many often be impacted by the frustration of finding a diagnosis. The cause unknown and treatment success varies. Therefore, many become depressed with a low quality of life.
The constant burning is there almost daily. It influences what I wear and what I do. I struggle some days to remain cheerful.
It is a totally isolating condition. Not one that you can freely speak about , so the sense of being alone is at times hard.

Although my husband tells me he understands he really can't. He has stopped being interested and tend to change the subject if I try to talk to him. I am not saying he is bad, he just fails to understand how sad and depressed it makes me, and its not my fault.
You feel trapped and held back from the life. I've decided to share this with you today as I wanted to speak out. So many women are locked into this condition, thinking they are alone.
I am in the UK and I have been lucky to find an excellent doctor. Professor Wendy Reid at the Royal Free Hospital in London. She a wonderful doctor and so reassuring and kind. Its not been easy to see her, it took seven years on the National Health Service.

I still see no cure and some days are better than others. I will do my best to keep upbeat but I have to be honest volvodynia is a very difficult condition to live with.
So please do not suffer alone, there are many others like us and together we can gain support.
Let us learn more about volvodynia and maybe just maybe a cure.

In the UK there is more information at 
www.vulvalpainsociety.org

Wednesday 23 May 2012

Diet and Life

Diet and life ...... well that's a full subject. I am nearly 54 and I think I had spent most of my life worrying about my weight. I have had times in my life when I have been very thin and a lot larger. I have put a huge amount of time and money I guess into weight loss, or not!
I have tried every diet and fitness programme known to man. Some have been successful and some not.

My daughter often tells me to relax and not worry so much, but its hard to change a habit of a life time.
Plus for me it goes beyond how I look now, its more about comfort and health. I have a few health problems which are made worse by carrying too much weight. I hate the way I look and feel and it really does effect my self confidence.

I tend to dread summer as you have to uncover yourself from the lovely protective coat. I constantly worry I will have bulging bits popping out all over. I hate to think that people think of me as " that fat lady", as I am much much more.

I even had a gastric band 2 years ago which did not work. All it did was reinforce my sense of failing and knock my confidence even more. I felt embrassed and sad and unhappy.
A few months back I was given the chance to try a new system called a slimpod. In simple terms its a download that you listen too everyday. The guy who does the talking is called Trevor and his gentle, relaxing voice is a dream.

The main point of this is to stop trying to diet and make simple changes to your life style. I found myself more relaxed and not so stressed. I still have to watch what I eat and recently being trying a simple 123 diet which seems to be working. So I am not putting pressure on myself to lose 100 pounds by July, more a slow pace steady weight loss. I must be doing the right thing because I have lost 21 pounds since Christmas!

So do not put too hard a course on your diet, relax try the slimpod and www.thinkingslimmer.co.uk and take your time.
I will let you know of my progress at the end of every month and if you are trying to lose some weight also, I would love to hear from you.

Monday 21 May 2012

Fancy dress Memories





This is a picture of my two children when they were small. We always went to holiday parks when they were small, and always took part in the fancy dress contest. This year they went as famous UK celebrities that were around at that time. Matthew went as famous UK boxer, Frank Bruno and at that time he was in an advertisement for a brown sauce! And Natalie went as Anneka Rice who was on T.v at the time. They did not win but I think they look great !

Saturday 19 May 2012

Forces Tribute to the Queen

Forces Tribute to the Queen is what I am many other sat to watch today. Celebrating her diamond jubilee, its the first of many events to mark this amazing landmark.

The Queen for 70 years has always had a very special relationship with her troops. She has a deep interest in the forces, and their families. I do think the affection is returned from them, as she represents all they stand for.

So the day started grey and misty, but as the some 20,000 people arrived the sun came out.

The town of Windsor looked wonderful with the Castle taking centre stage. Windsor Castle is in fact the oldest occupied castle in the world, and it had its best to show today.
I smiled to see a tiny girl sitting on her dad's shoulders, waving her flag she looked so excited.
The troops headed by the Royal Navy matched in closely followed by the Army and Air force. As they passed the Queen it was eyes right! Perfect arms in motion, evidence of hours of practise I am sure.




The parade then went on the long march of 1/2 mile to the arena. The sound of bagpipes and 20,000 people cheering and waving flags. As the troops entered the area it must have been a proud moment for the families and friends.
3,000 strong group of people. All lined up , perfectly straight for the Queen. Medals shining in the sun.
Then they performed the Drum Head Service, which is used in the field of battle. Drums are placed on top of each other to form an altar . Laying down the colours (the flag) to finish the effect.
Then the Queen arrived waving and looking happy. She was wearing a beautiful turquoise coat with purple accents, she always looks wonderful.

She was greeted by a fanfare and the Royal salute. The service then took place with messages of support also added. In the Queens speech she talked of how she cared for her troops and families and as she finished three cheers went up.


 And then the bands played again. What a wonderful sound, added to by a choir the sound swelled up into the air.
As the fly past went over the Queen was delighted by their formations of the number 60 and ER , it was such a great show of skill.
I felt very proud to be British, and with Rule Britannia and Land of Hope and Glory, the event was almost complete.

They finished with a fly past by the Red arrows display team, flying in a diamond formation, with red,white and blue smoke.



All in all it was very stirring! A wonderful forces tribute to the Queen on her diamond jubilee.
And no rain!


 Images from the BBC


Friday 18 May 2012

Twilight Review

Twilight Review today as I just saw all three recently. I had not been interested at all as I thought it was more aimed at teenage viewers. Then it came on the television and to be honest there was not much on so I watched it.

I have to say I was more than surprised that I really enjoyed it very much.
So just to run over the plot for those among you who have been in a cave for years!
Its a classic love story of star-crossed lovers Bella and Edward, who are 17 at the start. However, Edward has a dark secret, he is a vampire.

As the second movie "New Moon" Bella finds she is tested as she is now brought into the world of werewolves, who are enemies of the vampires.
In the last one I watched  the movie was called " Eclipse" and in this one Bella is surrounded by danger and she is forced to pick between love for Edward and her friend Jacob, who is a werewolf.

I know the next movie is out but as yet I have not had a chance to watch it, but I shall ASAP.
It can be all to easy to disregard a movie or book just because of preconceived options. Really we should not do this and by reading or watching something first, it could be opening your eyes to an area you would not have normally had an interest in.

I am nearly 54 and I really enjoyed the sweet and often scary love story of Edward and Bella, and the world of Jacob. I was well acted and had a great story line that had you interested all the way through.
So if like me you have not watched it, then get it soon as its worth it. Twilight was an eye opener for me and I am glad I did not miss it.

Thursday 17 May 2012

Chocolate Layer Cake

Chocolate Layer Cake is a lovely recipe I thought I would share with you this week. I recently made it for a church fund raising event, and it sold straight away. The lady who bought it came up to me the following week to tell me  how nice it was. It takes a bit of time but its easy and really yummy

Makes two 8 inch cakes which can be sandwiched together to make one layer cake.

230g dark chocolate
170g butter
350g light soft brown sugar ( although I used white as it was all I had)
3 eggs, separated
370g plain flour shifted
1 1/2 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
1/2        "    salt
500ml milk
2 teaspoon vanilla extract

To Decorate
Chocolate buttercream or Vanilla

Heat oven to 170/190 or gas 5. Grease and line tow cake tins

Break chocolate into pieces and put in microwave bowl. Melt on med for about 30 seconds . Or you can put bowl over simmering water until melted. Put to one side till cool.

In a big bowl cream butter and sugar until mix is smooth. Put egg yolks in a separate bowl and beat them for several mins. Slowly add the egg yolks to butter and sugar and beat well. Add the cooled chocolate and beat again.

Mix flour, baking powder, bicarb and salt in a separate bowl. Mix the milk and vanilla in a jug. Add one third of the flour to the creamed mix and beat. Pour in one third of the milk and beat. Repeat until all the flour and milk is mixed.

In a clean Brown whisk the egg whites with clean beaters until soft peaks start to form.
Carefully fold into main mix using a metal spoon. Do not beat as you will lose all the air. Divide between the two tins and bake for around 30 mins.

Remove from the oven and leave to cook for 10 mins before turning out on a wire rack to cool.
Once cool sandwich the layers together with butter cream and cover top with more.

Can be wrapped in clingfilm before icing and keep at room temp for up to 3 days, or can freeze.

Its really nice and I enjoyed making it.

Recipe from Cupcakes from the Primrose Bakery cook book.


Monday 14 May 2012

Another day !

Another day started my day with my second art class! I so want to turn out a wonderful master piece that in years to come will still be admired! However its not as simple as that. I wish what was in my head came out of my fingers.

People who can really paint or draw make it look so easy, and it makes you think that you can do the same.
I am a creative person and normally it comes easy to me, so when painting did not it was a bit of a shock.
Saying that I don't think I would give up as I hope that I can turn out a semi good picture in the future.

I think everyone should have a go if you want to , and it should be fun and relaxed.
So my little work of art may not make the Tate but it will be mine and I will be proud of it.
I found this picture on google images so sadly not mine! When I am brave I will post one of mine!

Thursday 10 May 2012

vote for me

I am very pleased that I have been nominated in a couple of awards. I am sure I will not win as there are so many delightful blogs, the competition is high. The latest is Salisbury's family blog awards which I would love you to vote for me in, if you enjoy my blog.
So wish me luck and I will let you know if I have any success.

http://www.sainsburysbank.co.uk/moneymatters/articles/carandtravel_exp_opin_family-blogger-network-competition.shtml


Wednesday 9 May 2012

When did they grow up?

When did they grow up? As a parent you have time's when you feel weighed down with the responsibility of  helping them grow. I have five years between mine, and when my youngest was born I was overwhelmed with the thought of starting all over again. My mother told me to enjoy it as time just flies and they will be grown up.


This is my first born Matthew and this picture was taken at 8 weeks old. I wanted a family so bad and I was shocked when it didn't happen straight away. After test upon test I was told you are both fine. And two years later along came Matthew. He was a darling baby who was always happy and smiling.
He has never ever caused us any problems and has grown up into a wonderful young man. He is loving and caring and I am proud of him everyday. He has a lovely wife Karen and I hope in the future that they will have a family, I think they would make really good parents.



My second child is Natalie and I thought I would not have any more children, and along she came. I was delighted to have a little girl as I felt so lucky to have one of each. She had immune problems since birth and at times in her life its been very hard. She has coped well and has such a wonderful voice, it makes me so proud to hear her. It gave me huge pleasure to make her dresses and later dance outfits, and more important to see her winning in them. Like her brother she recently got married to Rob who is a great person. I think they will also make excellent parents and I look forward to that very much.


So if you are reading this and you have small children, please enjoy them as they grow up so fast.
I hope my children feel that we are good parents and I want them to know how special they are and how much we love them. There is never a point when they are too old to tell them that!







Sunday 6 May 2012

Dreams

Dreams can be two things. One is something you do when you sleep and the other is something you may hold dear in your heart.
When we are younger we have all kinds of dreams and most will proBerly never happen. I think my dream of being country and western star is not going to happen now. And the dream to be Mrs Donny Osmond ...... well you never know.

As a child I so wanted to be a singer. I was shy and never had the voice or confidence really, but I still practiced and dreamed. I used to leave my mother notes every christmas and birthday asking for singing lessons. People from my era and from working class backround, did not have singing lessons. My parents choose to just ignor it and I did really break my heart.

When I found out my daughter Natalie could sing, it was wonderful. Not only was I deeply proud of her I also got to live my dream through her. Dont get me wrong I was not pushy, but I did watch her sing and it made it ok I never got the dream myself.
The same goes for dancing, I always wanted to but with a weight problem I could not get the confidence to do so. Natalie and her brother Matthew were great dancers, and it gave me such joy to watch them.

I would have loved to be part of a big happy family, and I always wanted more brothers and sisters. My sister in law pat became a big sis to me, and I spent many happy hours with her and my niece and nephew. I wish I could have big christmas parties like in the movies , were everyone is happy and having fun. So I guess another dream would be that, and to have my dear parents and other long past over family member there as well.

I don't have many dreams these days. I would like my health back as it stops me from doing much but apart from that I am ok. I am thinking to the future and trying to make sure I enjoy the latter years of my life. Trying not to stress and to relax.... not always easy these days

So dream on my friends and I hope they all come true xxx

Wednesday 2 May 2012

Thursday Baking



Thursday baking is something I thought I would try and also share with you all. I was brought up by a mother who was excellent at baking. I remember with happiness those hours helping her to bake cakes. The best part for me was getting to lick the bowl out after. Over the years I have always struggled with my weight and with a sweet tooth, I have stayed after from fear of eating too much.

Recently I got hooked and I deal with the eating by making and giving my baked goods away! So I thought I would share some lovely recipe's with you . If you make any I love to see a picture and a comment as to if you enjoy it or not. So go and try and have fun.

Lemon and orange drizzle cake

makes 12
prep time 20 mins
cooking 12-15 mins

250g(8oz) self-raising flour
200g(7oz) caster sugar
grated rind and juice of 1 lemon and orange
3 eggs
2 tablespoons milk
100g(3 1/2 oz) butter, melted.

Put the flour in a mixing bowl then add half the sugar and half the lemon and orange rind.
Lightly beat the eggs and mild then add to the bowl with the melted butter. Beat together until just smooth.

spoon the mix into the sections of a greased 12 hole muffin tin. Bake in a preheated oven until well risen and the tops are firm to the touch.

Make the lemon and orange syrup. Put the remaining sugar and grated citrus rind in a bowl. Strain in the fruit juices and mix together until the sugar has just dissolved.

As soon as the  cakes come out of the oven, loosen the edges and turn onto a cooling rack.
Put in a shallow dish and go over the surface with a fork then drizzle over the syrup.
You can make either lemon or orange.



recipe from Hamlyns
cakes and bakes

Wednesday Words

Wednesday words or family fun quotes is something I thought I would post every week. These made me smile I hope they do for you.

Happiness is having a large, caring, close knit family in another city.
George Burns


If you don't believer in ghosts, you've never been to a family reunion.
Ashleigh Brilliant


Families are like fudge - mostly sweet with a few nuts
Unknown author



Tuesday 1 May 2012

Pinch punch first day of the month!




Pinch punch first day of the month! Its the first of May and pouring down with rain. So I am putting off my domestic duties to write a blog post, my first for this month.
Last month I took part in the A to Z challenge which I really enjoyed. At first I was unsure if I could cope with daily posts but I surprised myself by doing it fine.
My subject was one of my craft passions which is Patchwork and I set myself a task to find quilt blocks, with the letters A to Z.


I think the challenge taught me more about my hobby and its wonderful and colourful history. It also taught me more about blogging and trying to post more often.
I expect I am like many bloggers and novices like myself, the prompt to what or when to write often comes up.  I want to be clever and write things that people will think "wow" but I also want to write with honesty about my life. Now life for me is not all that earth shattering so I often wonder if I should bother. Then I get lovely comments and I think maybe I will just write one more post.
I was given a question yesterday as to why I blog.
I started at a prompt by my niece Emma who also has a blog. At first I was at a loss as to why someone would blog and went along with the idea, to make her happy. However, it soon became clear that I really enjoyed writing and I was hooked.
I really get a kick out of comments and seeing how many people take the time to read about my life.
I have also got to know through the Internet some delightful people from all over the world, which is so fantastic.
I hope I will keep writing that "one last post" for a while and I also hope that people keep sending me those wonderful comments.
Thanks world!